The fact is, there's not that much to be black about anymore, I mean not much more than to be white about. The civil rights movement with super novas like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X is a thing of the past. Understandably, black politicians are confused about how to mark their political rhetoric now that the drama of civil rights is kaput. Well, Barack Obama has a solution. He's not even going to go there. He's not even going to go to Iraq. His thing is: let's all get along!

I tell you, that is hard to pull off. Very few politicians have managed to be charismatic advocating niceties. Let's see now ... damn, can't think of any. But Obama wants to try; in his Democratic Convention keynote address in 2004, he said:

"... we don't like federal agents poking around our libraries in the red states. We coach Little League in the blue states, and yes, we've got some gay friends in the red states. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq, and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq. We are one people ..."

So we don't know if he's black enough or white enough, folks, but he's brown enough for us! We support Brown Barack for having the gumption to go out there and be all sweetoo sweetoo!

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That is what Richard Dawkins asks in the latest issue of WIRED Magazine in an article titled The New Atheists. Dawkins, the evolutionary biologist made famous by his seminal study of genes called The Selfish Gene, believes that atheists should stop being so goddamn politically correct, and say it like it is: God is a figment of your kinky imagination!

In fact, people like Dawkins believe that it is the ethical duty of atheists to evangelize atheism and to save the rest of the world from this farce steeped in stupidity and delusion (aka religion). The atheists who follow and practice this line of thinking are, ladies and gentlemen, the New Atheists!

"The number of nonreligious people in the US is something nearer to 30 million than 20 million," he says. "That's more than all the Jews in the world put together. I think we're in the same position the gay movement was in a few decades ago. There was a need for people to come out. The more people who came out, the more people had the courage to come out. I think that's the case with atheists. They are more numerous than anybody realizes."

I must confess I have very mixed feelings about this. I used to be a rabid atheist, but after seeing how militant Islamism is a highly distasteful enterprise, I have now become a moderate atheist. What does that mean? Essentially that I respect the beliefs, however ridiculous, of other people; and that I pretend to respect the intelligence, however dim, of people who hold ridiculous beliefs (such as the belief in fairies, unicorns and god).

But coming back to Dawkins, the question is: is it our moral right to enlighten people about the value of atheism? I leave that to Philosophy graduate students to waste seven years of their lives trying to figure it out in a PhD program, but as far as how madzen the Dawkins dude is, we give him a thumbs-up for having the balls to express himself!

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(Images Courtesy Corbis)

F-cking Animals! Well, there is some truth to that. But f-cking animals that cheat on other animals they are f-cking ... that can be problematic. And you may ask Why? Here are the three main reasons why (in)fidelity is a royal pain.

1. Logistics: If the guilt doesn't kill you, the logistics will. Lying constantly about where you are, who you are with, not to mention organizing where you are, who you are with ... it's a veritable nightmare!

2. Exhaustion: Being there for two people, emotionally, physically and intellectually, is exhausting ... unless you're only doing it for the sex, which doesn't really count as true (in)fidelity. True (in)fidelity, as opposed to plain ol' infidelity, is a passionate and sexual love affair that one person has with two different people.

3. Boomerang: Eventually, your partner will find out, and then your partner will torture you in every way possible ... trust me, in *every* way possible.

Thus, we recommend (in)fidelity for only the young, healthy, and well-organized who've agreed upon an open relationship! And even then, we still think it's overrated because, to be honest, fidelity for us f-cking animals is far more maddening and intense than (in)fidelity.

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(Image Courtesy Corbis)

Well, there are two kinds of restlessness-es: the clinical kind and then the usual kind. For the first kind, also known as ADD (attention deficit disorder), there is that lovely pill called Ritalin. Beware of getting addicted to it though (trust me, it happens). And then there is the usual run-of-the-mill 'I'm so restless, I could kill someone' kind.

If you are suffering from the second kind, people will recommend yoga. DON'T listen to them. Yoga will only make you more restless! It will numb you into thinking you are calm, but beneath the mellow-fellow routine, you'll feel the intense waves of your passions breaking against the walls of your mien. Truth be told, there are only two tried and tested ways to cure restlessness: alcohol and african dance.

(1) Alcohol is the answer to ALL your problems!!! Yes, it is. They say it isn't but it so is (at least for the time you are inebriated). Black Label on the rocks works particularly well for desis, for some reason. Within minutes of taking that first sip (Ahhhhh), you will find yourself relaxing and smiling and feeling calmer. Drink till you feel happy. Note: THIS PRESCRIPTION IS NOT FOR PEOPLE WITH ADDICTIVE PERSONALITIES. If you are an addictive personality, go to (2).

(2) African Dance - You think life was easy two million years ago as we evolved from apes to humans? No man, it sucked. It was a jungle out there (literally), and our ancestors just danced their frustrations away. Luckily, in Africa these ancient forms of pure primal lustful dance are still preserved and in the jungle of Manhattan, you can attend a class at Djoniba studios. Sweat it out with live drums, hot bods, and that sexy Djoniba himself guiding you in extricating all the devilish restlessness out of you.

Hmmm, by the by, there's also SEX, but it requires a partner and who wants to rely on others when you can cure yourself all by yourself.

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(Images Courtesy BBC)

Fab, fab, fab and check out the abs on Ajay Devgan who is Othello or Omkara (also called Omi Bhai). Director Vishal Bhardwaj takes his second stab at taking Shakespeare to the Indus Civilization. His first foray, Maqbool (for Macbeth) is purportedly fantastic, but haven't seen it so no comment. Tassadauq Hussain is the Director of Photography in Omkara and does an amazing job with frame composition and color palette.

Official Website: Omkara

Best (and sexiest) Song: Beedi with Bipashu Basu [right] dancing like pure fire and putting all the Eastern European strippers in Scores, NYC to shame.

Listen to Beedi and Omkara (another good song) at Raaga.com

The only drawback is that the movie is set in Uttar Pardesh so I for one understood barely anything the cast was saying, and then I got bored with Kareena Kapoor's salty looks (Shakepeare is turning in his grave because Desdemona is called Dolly in Omkara). And we all know the end: Omi Bhai smothers Dolly to death because Tayagi is pissed off for not being promoted in the ranks by Omi, and convinces him that Dolly is cheating on Omi. Oops sorry, did I ruin the end? Were you sleeping in your Shakespeare class - you should know this already !

Smothering your lover to death because you're a fool - very bad.
Looking good while smothering your lover - not bad.
Looking hot while convincing your fool of a friend to smother his lover - excellent !

This movie is worth watching just to see Saif Ali Khan play an evil son of a bitch with flair and pure glee.

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(Image Courtesy Omkara)

Psst: For a quick and dirty lowdown on Othello, read Spark Notes.

Whatever your motivation, if you're a young (or elderly) woman and you are feeling this way, then you are in the F*ck You, F*ck Me mood. You are lucky: this mood doesn't come often and it is best to immediately replenish your supply of whips, paddles, handcuffs and all other accouterments necessary to teach 'him' a lesson and to fly to the sky in the process.

The gora world calls this S&M (sadomasochism). And now for some www for your enlightenment (Words of Wisdom from Wikipedia):

Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person.

The counterpart of sadism is masochism, the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.

Sadism and masochism are collectively known as S&M or sadomasochism.

But here at MadZen, we know it's just a little F*ck You, F*ck Me lovin'. Anyhoo, let's not get tied down with nomenclature when the job at hand is to provide you, angry sexy young (or elderly) woman, with some resources on how to get your leather-wearing whip-toting ass ready for this mood.

If you're in New York, MadZen recommends The Pleasure Chest. And for the brave and daring who want to go beyond mere paddles, whips and cuffs, there is Toys in Babeland for bondage lovers who want nipple clamps, all kinds of restraints for the body, and dripping wax candles. First-timers, there is a 'gentle' kit for you as well here.

Enjoy!

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(Image Courtesy Dhoom 2)

So told one Aghori to a good friend of mine.

WHO ARE THE AGHORIS?

some www (Words of Wisdom from Wikipedia):

The Aghori are a Hindu sect. Aghori means non-terrifying in Sanskrit.

Goal: Aghori ascetics adhere to the common Hindu belief in moshka from samsara i.e. liberation (moksha) from the cycle of reincarnation (samsara).

Wierd Goth: Members of the Aghori drink from human skulls and practice cannibalism in the belief that eating human flesh confers spiritual and physical benefits.

Nice: The Aghori ascetic is himself a symbol of the god Shiva. He goes naked or wears the shroud of a corpse, he covers himself in the ashes of the cremation ground--which would be polluting for an orthodox Brahmin--and his ritual practices are symbols of his non-dualistic beliefs. The corpse upon which he meditates is a symbol of his own body and the corpse devouring ritual is a symbol of the transcendence of his lower self and a realisation of the greater, all pervading self.

Shaivite sadhu [above] drinks from his human skull bowl. A picture of Shiva can be seen behind him. Although the practice of taking all of one's food and drink from a human skull is rare nowadays, certain sadhus, particularly the Aghori sub-sect, still hold to it as a daily reminder of human mortality and as a challenge to transcend the duality of life and death.
( text & images © Thomas L. Kelly )

You have to hand it to them. They may not have the most appealing rituals, but they have a cool philosphy behind it. And isn't that the key: the ritual is as good as the story and the story is as good as the tellah?

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