People have cures for everything these days - for feeling depressed, for feeling fat, for feeling blah, for feeling sexy ... But what about when you just feel restless, like a trapped animal, just growling and pacing in a cage that is a figment of your disturbed imagination?

Well, there are two kinds of restlessness-es: the clinical kind and then the usual kind. For the first kind, also known as ADD (attention deficit disorder), there is that lovely pill called Ritalin. Beware of getting addicted to it though (trust me, it happens). And then there is the usual run-of-the-mill 'I'm so restless, I could kill someone' kind.

If you are suffering from the second kind, people will recommend yoga. DON'T listen to them. Yoga will only make you more restless! It will numb you into thinking you are calm, but beneath the mellow-fellow routine, you'll feel the intense waves of your passions breaking against the walls of your mien. Truth be told, there are only two tried and tested ways to cure restlessness: alcohol and african dance.

(1) Alcohol is the answer to ALL your problems!!! Yes, it is. They say it isn't but it so is (at least for the time you are inebriated). Black Label on the rocks works particularly well for desis, for some reason. Within minutes of taking that first sip (Ahhhhh), you will find yourself relaxing and smiling and feeling calmer. Drink till you feel happy. Note: THIS PRESCRIPTION IS NOT FOR PEOPLE WITH ADDICTIVE PERSONALITIES. If you are an addictive personality, go to (2).

(2) African Dance - You think life was easy two million years ago as we evolved from apes to humans? No man, it sucked. It was a jungle out there (literally), and our ancestors just danced their frustrations away. Luckily, in Africa these ancient forms of pure primal lustful dance are still preserved and in the jungle of Manhattan, you can attend a class at Djoniba studios. Sweat it out with live drums, hot bods, and that sexy Djoniba himself guiding you in extricating all the devilish restlessness out of you.

Hmmm, by the by, there's also SEX, but it requires a partner and who wants to rely on others when you can cure yourself all by yourself.

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(Images Courtesy BBC)